Granted, China is effectively positioning itself as the new land of abundance and prosperity, but cripes is it parched. Deriving 99% of its moisture from expectoration, the land from Liaoning to Gansu is forever crumbling apart to be scattered by the four winds. No wonder even pastoral views are usually a study in sear and tawny brown.

Yunnan is one of the few regions in China where moisture is real, and not some salty trick of the sea. Yunnan means "South of the Clouds", a land so impregnated with life-giving water that the soil runs sienna red. Should you catch your reflection in a store window and notice how deeply etched the once fine wrinkles around your eyes, how parchment-like your once-soft skin, it's time to re-hydrate in Yunnan.

Since we've warned you away from Jinhong, you'll no doubt end up touring fabled Lijiang and Dali. Fine. But please reconsider before you head north and west to Lhasa. Does a Kentucky coal miner vacation in Newcastle? Consider instead a loop back towards Kunming, to the land north of Quxiong, where the Jiangdi River runs through a valley so saturated with the earth's blood they call it the Red Land.

You'll be hard-pressed to find much moist red earth exposed, however. Land this fertile has dense flora holding it all together, even on the cliff tops. Attention turns from earth to water upon reaching the four kilometer stretch of the Jiangi known as the San Tan waterfall, in actuality a series of thirty three falls ranging in height from 19 to 121 meters. Hardy tourists who visit in winter see the falls frozen solid, arrayed in what the Chinese call "white scarves".

Where the Jiangdi flows out of the Redland valley lies Yuanmo Tuling, a stone forest decidedly less touted, to serene effect, than its big brother in Kunming. Rampant bears, sleeping bears, and fanning peacocks have been immortalized by nature in solid stone, a paradise for the animist or otherwise imaginitive. Other formations resemble Versailles (honestly) and medieval masonry, even a scaled down Great Wall.

Just outside of the valley lies the ancient town of Shiyang. This is one of Yunnan's three historical towns, a runner up to Lijiang and Dali in terms of quaint grandeur, but a winner in terms of road-less-traveled points. Founded in the Han Dynasty, the town enjoyed a long boom in salt trade lasting until the Ming Dynasty, making it a key stop on the Southern Silk Road. Stretches of the old road remain in Shiyang, leveled off stone masonry bearing the hoof prints of beasts of burden long since gone to their reward. To this day, the townspeople still make salt traditionally, in big cakes stamped with their ancient seal. Go ahead, buy a cake and take a few licks. Salt helps you retain water, and you'll be dehydrated soon enough after leaving Yunnan.