Times are always uncertain, but with everyone trembling on the doorstep of 2009, it makes sense to proceed with extra caution. Trouble is, rational thinking doesn't apply to the irrationality of the masses, and infinite x factors defy a finite brain in determining the consequences of a decision.

The only recourse we have is to consult the divine. Some call it prayer, others listening to the heart. Not easy in this Era of the Frontal Lobe. Unsurprisingly, the Chinese have long had a system for getting answers from the Great Beyond. It's called the I Ching, the Book of Changes, and before you roll your eyes, know that no less a luminary than Carl Jung praised the I Ching as a "synchronicity computer".

Let's give it a try, and see what the Heavens advise on the earthly issues of the day.

First let's ask a question, more open-ended than the yes-no softballs we'd toss at a fortune-teller: how can China weather the global economic storm?

We take three coins, groovy Chinese ones with holes in the middle preferably, but not necessarily. Now we cast: heads count for three points, tails for two, which means a total between six and nine. Cast six times - here we go:

First cast, three heads, a nine, a changing yang line.

Second cast, three tails, six, an old yin.

Third cast, three tails again, old yin.

Fourth cast, old yin again, what are the odds?

Fifth cast, old yin; maybe these coins are broken.

Sixth cast, three heads again, another changing yang. Here's what we got, placing the lines from the bottom up:

           Hexagram 27, The Corners of the Mouth, Providing Nourishment

Let's see, the Judgment for this Hexagram says "Pay heed to the providing of nourishment, and to what a man seeks to fill his own mouth with." Uncanny! You listening, Zhongnanhai? Let's keep those farming subsidies coming. Says here the government's already got 10 billion RuMBas allocated for agri-machine subsidies. Could the Central Committee be tossing coins behind closed doors?

Uh oh, Hexagram 27's image is Thunder at the Foot of the Mountain; that doesn't sound good. "The superior man is careful in speech, and temperate in eating and drinking." Got it. Less shooting the mouth off about hard times means more GDP-building optimism; fewer nine-course banquets means less waking up hung over and calling in sick, more productivity.

Now we take the reading line by line, for some detailed guidance:

Nine at the beginning: "Let your magic turtle go, and look at me with the corners of your mouth drooping. Misfortune." Who would let a magic turtle go, provided they had one in the first place? Puzzling. No puzzle in the last part, though. As if earthquakes, freak storms, and poison milk haven't been misfortune enough. Ah well, misfortunes make happiness sweeter when it comes, or something hopelessly trite to that effect.

Six in the second line: "Turning to the summit for nourishment, continuing to do this brings misfortune." Nobody turning to summits, unless... aha! Peaks in the stock market. Too many amateur speculators buying in at high prices, the bubble, the crash . . . maybe hedge fund managers should start including a little I Ching in their analyses.

Six in the third line: "Turning away from nourishment. Perseverance brings misfortune. Do not act thus for ten years. Nothing serves to further." So we obviously shouldn't be getting back into equities until 2018.

Six in the fourth line: "Turning to the summit...looking about with sharp eyes, like a tiger with insatiable craving. No blame." Sorry, I Ching, but what good does it do to forgive ourselves for being greedy predators looking to make a quick killing? Why aren't you on Oprah's booklist yet?

Six in the fifth: "Turning away from the path. To remain persevering brings good fortune. One should not cross the great water." Turning away, but persevering. Don't cross the great water - what's that? The Pacific? Cut America loose? Maybe the last line will clear things up.

Nine at the top line: "The source of nourishment. Awareness of danger brings good fortune. It furthers one to cross the great water." So how does China change its path, aware of danger, but remain persevering, and cross the water after all? Maybe it's time to dump the dollar, find new export markets, and make more trips to Disneyland and Vegas with our beefed up currency. Maybe we should have used the fifty yarrow stalk method instead of the coins .

Either way, "Pay heed to providing nourishment," is never bad advice, especially in a place with so many bellies to fill, and so many people who can remember when there was nothing to fill them with. There are worse things than economic downturns.

Great intro to casting hexagrams here, and interpreting them here. Or you can just type in your question and get an instant interpretation here.