You'd think if a country were going to choose a song for itself, the song would reflect its best traits. Venezuela's would be about beautiful women and pristine beaches, Switzerland's about its chocolate and cuckoo clocks. If a nation wishes to advertise its fighting prowess, decorum would dictate following America and England's lead, with allusions to flags still waving and making mightier yet.

In the East, countries display a lyrical schizophrenia, giving voice to a side otherwise seldom advertised. The trend seems to be historical. The Qing Dynasty, for example, was founded by a semi-nomadic race of mounted toughs who rode roughshod over the remains of the Ming Empire. To judge by their anthem, though, their reason for doing so was to establish a loafer's paradise, a realm of gold and giggles threatened only by the ocean.

Cup of Solid Gold

Solidify our golden empire,

Underneath the aegis of heaven,

All of civilization will cease to toil,

United in happiness and mirth,

As long as the Qing rules.

Our empire is emblazoned by light,

And our boundaries are vast and preserved.

The expanse stretches infinitely,

The sea brims with turbulence.

The party had to end sometime. The last years of the Qing, and the subsequent era of internal strife almost left China a giant roast duck, sliced up by Germany, England, and other colonial powers. Still, in these times of post-Panda diplomacy and much ado about global prosperity, the words to the PRC's anthem seem a tad inappropriate, outside of a Metallica reunion concert.

March of Volunteers

Arise,
Ye who refuse to be slaves!
With our very flesh and blood,
Let us build our new Great Wall!
The peoples of China are in the most critical time,
Everybody must roar his defiance.
Arise!
Arise!
Arise!
Millions of hearts with one mind,
Brave the enemy's gunfire, March on!

Brave the enemy's gunfire, March on!
March on!
March on!

"March on and on and awwwwwwn, YEAH!!" You can almost hear the screeching electric guitar and double bass drum. No better tune to hail the fierce victory of that fifty-kilo hero who wins China the gold medal for badminton. Foreigners attending the Olympic Games, or for that matter, any foreigners wishing to impress potential Chinese friends, would do well to memorize the song in Putonghua. [Those annoying ‘3's signify third tone.]

Qi3lái! Búyuàn zuò núlì de rénmen!
Ba3 wo3men de xuèròu zhùchéng wo3men xīn de chángchéng!
Zhōnghuá Mínzú dào liao3 zùi wēixiǎn de shíhòu,
Měigerén bèipò zhe fāchū zùihòu de hou3shēng.
Qi3lái! Qi3lái! Qi3lái!
Wǒmen wànzhòngyīxīn,
Mào zhe dírén de pàohuo3, Qiánjìn!
Mào zhe dírén de pàohuo3, Qiánjìn!
Qiánjìn! Qiánjìn! Jìn!

Here's a midi-file so you can sing in time.

Again, the point is that China's current political reality has little if nothing to do with rebuilding walls and marching into enemy gunfire. Now Japan's early 20^th century foreign policy was a tad more, shall we say aggressive than China's, and its record since WWII one of enviable economic will to power. Yet their anthem, at first listen, suggests a people with a curious predilection for boulders and lichen.

Kimigayo

May thy peaceful reign last long!
May it last for thousands of years,
Until this tiny stone will grow into a massive rock
And the moss will cover it all deep and thick.

Kimigayo, although terse as a haiku, leaves the listener with a stony metaphor fit for a graduate course in comparative lit [ "I think, like, the moss symbolizes the Japanese nostalgia for an age of peace and tranquility, kinda like Tom Jones' Green Green Grass of Home?"] There is nothing in it to stir up a Divine Wind, or enslaving the minds of two generations with a gaming console.

Nowadays, though, Vietnam is rapidly trending up as the go-to country for expats seeking high profit margins and grateful employees. A pervasive grumble among Sino-pundits warns that China waxes nationalistic, biting the Western hand that trades at a deficit. Those hauling stakes for Ho Chi Minh would do well to heed the anthem of their greener, rainier pasture.

Vietnam March to the Front

Soldiers of Vietnam, we go forward,
With the one will to save our Fatherland,
Our hurried steps are sounding on the long and arduous road.
Our flag, red with the blood of victory, bears the spirit of our country.
The distant rumbling of the guns passes over the bodies of our foes.
Overcoming all hardships, together we build our resistance bases.
Ceaselessly for the people's cause let us struggle,
Let us hasten to the battle-field!
Forward! All together advancing!
Our Vietnam is strong, eternal.

Soldiers of Vietnam, we go forward!
The gold star of our flag in the wind
Leading our people, our native land, out of misery and suffering.
Let us join our efforts in the fight for the building of a new life.
Let us stand up and break our chains
For too long have we swallowed our hatred.
Let us keep ready for all sacrifices and our life will be radiant.
Ceaselessly for the people's cause let us struggle,
Let us hasten to the battle-field!
Forward! All together advancing!
Our Vietnam is strong, eternal.

Chains, blood, hatred? Let us hope that Vietnam's anthem, like China's, is merely a remnant of ancient 20^th century history, sung proudly but fancifully, like Virginians playing at Civil War re-enactment. With the Vietnamese now building casinos rather than resistance bases, the near future looks decidedly non-martial.