China Expat




Ratso Takes to the Streets


Hold on; I’ll wait ‘til you’re done parking. Oh for god’s sake – “Dao! Dao!...Dao! Hao le. Wow, you almost got your Santana parallel to the lines. You’re getting pretty good at this, aren’tcha?

I know there’s a giant fish head and a bottle of baijiu with your name on it inside this fine restaurant, but allow me to bend your ear. I just want to know why you thought it was necessary to lean on your horn to clear me from the sidewalk. Of course you needed to use the pedestrian path because other cars were too slow, and your What bad breath and comb over?two-pack business dinner is far too important to drive safely to.

 

But couldn’t you have “tootled the horn melodiously” to let me know such an august personage as yourself was coming through? Sir, why do you avert your gaze? Sir? Enjoy your fish head, sir.

 

[*BEEEEEEP BEEP BEEP*] Hey, you’ll do. I know I’m blocking your car, genmer, I just wanted a word. I see you’re on your phone, so I’m going to assume you didn’t notice that green humanoid lit up on yon crossing signal. Yeah, that one. Say again, please? My Chinese is especially bad when I’m about to assault someone. Ohhh, you thought that meant “warning – troublesome worthless walkers about”.

 

Now, I don’t have a car, and therefore lack the status to speak with you on an equal footing, but being compassionate to the poor and disenfranchised is part of noblesse oblige. You have all the other hallmarks of the new China ruling class – your clutch purse, silver zippo, and a father who’s allowed to embezzle millions because his father gave everyone footrubs on the Long March.

You know what? I’ll shut up. I’m just jealous. That is a Mercedes – CLS – and the adorable array of stuffed animals in the rear window shows you have a woman in your life who is young at heart. Those are yours? Oops. Guess that’s your man-bag on the passenger seat, too. You have enough problems. Good day, sirrah.

 

Here comes another -Whoops! Guess you need to merge with traffic pretty bad, cowboy. You just block the sidewalk ‘til you see an opportunity; this’ll give us a chance to chat. I never get enough chances to learn from members of a classless, Socialist society, and reform my materialistic Western ways. My Dongbei girlfriend lectures me once in a while, but since I declined to send thirty grand to her great aunt for that operation, it’s been “noh talk, noh boom-boom”. Uh, buddy? You’re accelerating, yet you cast nary a glance at oncoming traffic. Ahhh, you only focus on where you want to go. That’s it. Eyes on the prize.

 

Hey now, sonny lad, no wonder you just took the left turn ten seconds after the arrow went red. In that souped-up QQ, the ladies must be ringing you off the hook for rides! What color is it? I can’t tell from all the racing stickers and street-cred-bestowing bullet hole decals. Hoooey, gun it some more! It’s like being back at the go-cart races at Riverside Park. Hey, with that giant spoiler, if you were to take off the roof (I’ve got a can opener on me), you could just wheel it into Carrefour, with everyone thinking it was a wacky promotional shopping cart.

 

[*Beep Beep BEEEP*] Ey! I’m walkin’ here! I’m walkin’ here!

 

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Comments

Aunt needs operation

The word is 阿姨 (in simplified Chinese) or ā yí (in Hanyu Pinyin). It is not demeaning in any way. For example, that is how you would address your mother’s younger sister. If girlfriend's aunt needs operation and man is honorable boyfriend, not just some lusty youth wanting to get his rocks off the foreign way, then 30,000RMB is not unreasonable assistance at all for his future family. Hey man, like that's only $US4000. Average professional Joe should be able to earn at least that each month stateside. Bet you by golly wow that Uncle Sam military man can spare a dime when the time of duty and honor calls. Chinese families pull together when the going gets tough. Thanks for your observations, Ernie.



Rocks Off vs Sick Grannies

Yeah, but the physical well-being of Chinese grannies/aunts/brothers needing money for university appears to have a direct relation to the length of the relationship. Like, two weeks in and this problem 'suddenly' appears. And for RMB30,000 in China, what's she need, brain surgery ? The average ailment in China takes about RMB50 to fix. I had open surgery on my arm for RMB200. So at 30 G's thats an awfully sick population of the aged that the PRC has to accomodate. And more 'brothers in University' than I suspect there are actual degrees up for grabs each year.

Incidentally, whats 'getting your rocks off in a foreign way'? Didn't see that one in the Kama Sutra.

Heh heh which hole ? heh

Fidel



PURE GOLD PURE GOLD

No one does it better than our Ernie.



Always with the Interracial taboos

I love all readers unconditionally, but this was supposed to be an intolerant rant about Chinese drivers.



You can't always get what you want

Get Your Rocks Off. At the end of the day, it’s really about the size of your rock. But it doesn’t have to be the one on your finger they’re talking about. ...



rocks off rocks

Tooth enamel is mainly minerals, the closest you'll ever come to having rocks in your head (or your body, unless you're unfortunate enough to have kidney stones). And of course we all what kinda rocks are a gals best friend is.

Fidel



did you say rant?

A interesting article from Cox Newspapers with a mention of ChinaRant. Some excellent tidbits from the article:

1. Many Chinese refuse to swallow their spit because they believe mucus is poisonous, said Sha Lianxiang, a psychologist at the Humanistic Olympics Studies Center. "When I was young my parents told me that if I swallowed my spit it would turn into a worm in my stomach," she said.

2. Beijing also has employed 1,500 "civilized bus-riding" supervisors to discourage crowding and fighting at bus stops, the official Xinhua news agency reported. The city has also hired 3,180 workers to stop pedestrians and cyclists from crossing streets against the light and will increase the number to more than 5,000 by 2008, according to local media.

3. In 2003 the Beijing government began providing dog owners with yearlong supplies of plastic bags and "apparatuses to collect their fecal matter," said Sha, the Humanistic Olympics Studies Center psychologist.



intolerant rant

So this was supposed to be an intolerant rant about Chinese drivers, was it? One of the most effective means of teaching respect for diversity is eliminating ignorance not promoting it with intolerance and racism. All human beings are born free and equal in dignity and rights. Racism is simply one of several manifestations of intolerance among human groups. If you come and live in China, learn to accept that you are not perfect neither is the rest of the world. Sensless ranting fills empty space. That's all, folks. Over to you!



Is it racsim to point out

someone else's faults, I don't think so, more of an observation, your right about one thing, no ones perfect, but here imperfection is warn like a badge of honour, whilst denying it of course, got to keep face, even though everything I do makes me loose face, go figure that one, as is ripping someone off, getting them to move out of the way with the horn, ignoring the lights, my taxi driver recently told me he thought the Chinese were silly people since they started to get money, and cars, I guess its not just the baijiu that goes straight to the head.



Racism has existed

Racism has existed throughout human history. It may be defined as the hatred of one person by another -- or the belief that another person is less than human -- because of skin color, language, customs, place of birth or any factor that supposedly reveals the basic nature of that person. It has influenced wars, slavery, the formation of nations, and legal codes.

During the past 500-1000 years, racism on the part of Western powers toward non-Westerners has had a far more significant impact on history than any other form of racism (such as racism among Western groups or among Easterners, such as Asians, Africans, and others). The most notorious example of racism by the West has been slavery, particularly the enslavement of Africans in the New World (slavery itself dates back thousands of years). This enslavement was accomplished because of the racist belief that Black Africans were less fully human than white Europeans and their descendants.



freedom of speech

Some people mistakenly believe that the public expression of racist attitudes is a legal and acceptable form of free speech.



Alright Malcolm X!

Preach it, Anonymous mah bruhtha. Who is the only devil since meza-noism times to enslave a man, to keep a man down? My-T Why-T, mah bruthah. Now when the Chinese emperors was building the Great Wall, they just used voluntary labor, whole bunch of Chinese brothers wanted to help build their co-munitah, not no slaves. Even today, you can see the Chinese practice peace and love for their own kind, lettin' a sistah come in out the cold, sit in the sweatshop 14 hours for two dollah, lose some weight at the same time. Can I gits an Amen? Right on.
Everyone know, the black man was to settle his differences with tribal councils back in Africa, before the white devil come up in there, teachin' 'em to hate. That whole Hutu-Tutsi mess or whatever, that nothin' but white devils turnin' a bruthah ginst anothah bruthah fromst anuthah muthah.



you white people can never

you white people can never live without being racist even in cartoons u ppl have time. people should be thing about how to make the world a better place. Just remember 1 thing is that we blacks did not chooose to come to ur coutrys we were forced in jains we have built the white socity do u understand crackers



"You white people can never

"You white people can never live without being racist even in cartoons"

er....has anyone suggested to you THAT comment is seriously racist as well? Or is racism only something white people do (and largely admit to in their community, have made largely abhorrent and provide restitution for)?



Either Chinese or some black dude

Just so you know, black culture is NOT limited to the blame game and victimology. You are perfectly stereotypical. There are numerous blacks who attend private schools, pursue higher education, enter lucrative professions, join middle/upper class, and listen to everything from classical to alternative. Black people such as this sometimes find themselves socializing primarily outside their race. That’s a class issue, not a race one. I’m in my 20s and have lived in TN, IL, MO, NY, FL as well as S America, W Europe, Africa and the Mid East. I have a diverse network of friends across these locations. Quite frankly, I think you are perfectly stereotypical. Ask every black parent who ever had a child enrolled in tennis and golf lessons. All of those children didn’t grow up to be Tiger and Venus. They grew up to be carolinajack, yourself, and plenty of other black folks living everyday lives in communities across this country. Thing is, most everyone is going to prejudge you. We all make initial judgments based on personal experience. Once people get to know you, your character speaks for itself.Move anyplace you want, just be willing to work at establishing meaningful elationships….whether it be with a skeptical white person who initially expects you to be “more black” , a skeptical “stereotypical” black person who initially expects you to be “more black” or anyone in between who expects everything and nothing. You can’t control peoples’ assumptions of you.
Bottom Line: Don’t think that because you move to what you perceive to be a more liberal location that you will not have to overcome the “stereotype” you so clearly are “not”. That said, I do hope you find the sense of community you are looking for. I see how feeling like an outsider within your own race can be difficult. Maybe you are the one who is too quick to judge, and there are more people with just a little something in common with you than you perceive.



Beyond Fad and Fashion Understanding The Essence of Malcolm X

There is no more popular political leader among young African Americans today than El Hajji Malik Shabazz, Malcolm X. From the Autobiography of Malcolm X to tapes of his speeches, everything about "Our Black Shining Prince" is in high demand. Malcolm X memorabilia are the hottest items on the market with street vendors and Black-oriented gift shops. Malcolm X buttons, t-shirts, posters, and the popular X caps are visible everywhere. There is no doubt that it has become quite fashionable to be down with Malcolm.

For those of us who consider ourselves sons and daughters of Malcolm X, this remarkable resurgence of interest in Malcolm is refreshing and encouraging. Young African Americans seem to have gravitated towards Malcolm because they sense a certain "no sell-out" quality to Malcolm's character. But the fascination with Malcolm X, to the extent that it is mere fad and fashion, also carries with it certain dangers. The profound meaning of Malcolm's life and the legacy which he bequeathed to African people world-wide and to oppressed humanity could be obscured and trivialized because of a lack of knowledge about the man and his mission. Hence, there is the challenge to young brothers and sisters, the new generation of leadership, to understand the essence of Malcolm X and to study the basic tenets of his teachings. Beyond simply sporting an X cap, the challenge is to understand the nature of Malcolm's evolution and development into on of the greatest African leaders in our history. He was born May 19, 1925 in Omaha, Nebraska as Malcolm Little. He died February 21, 1965 as El Hajji Malik Shabazz, felled by assassins' bullets at the Audubon Ballroom in upper Harlem. This 39-year sojourn is one of the greatest sagas of human transformation in the annals of African world history. From my vantage point, this transformation from Malcolm Little/"Detroit Red" to Malcolm X/El Hajji Malik Shabazz stands as a testimony to the possibilities of an individual and a people to rise above their oppression in the struggle for liberation. Malcolm's continued capacity for growth and development, his unflinching commitment to African people and oppressed humanity, and his courageous, selfless service to his people, even in the face of death, are the hallmarks of Malcolm's character.

Up from the devastating depths of oppressive ghetto life, Malcolm came to symbolize uncompromising resistance to racism and oppression. He embodied our hopes for what we can become as a free and self-determining people. He illustrated, without a doubt, that all of us can rise above the limitations imposed by an oppressive system to strike powerful blows for our own freedom and liberation. Beyond mere fad and fashion young African Americans must keep the legacy of Malcolm alive through the deeds performed in the struggle for liberation in their daily lives. Long live El Hajji Malik Shabazz!



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