We get the movies we deserve. Information has replaced imagination, and worldwide Spiderman receipts guarantee we'll get superhero remakes until the archives have been exhausted. But the upcoming remake of The Green Hornet, due out this December, is a double outrage. That the original show bored in all but one aspect is forgivable; a recycled superhero script is a better bet than an original script, according to obscene Hollywood calculus. That this remake will trample the legacy of Bruce Lee, and his remarkable achievement as Kato, is not.
The only foreigners who get into it are youngsters looking to win Mandarin competitions. Xiangsheng, or crosstalk, reflects the soul of Chinese wit. It relies heavily on puns, allusions, and double entendres, so that only native speakers laugh at it. So by all means leave it off your cultural acquisition agenda.
Unless, that is, you are seeking the fastest route to being a Chinese media darling. Imagine the potential star power of a fresh-off-the boat Chinese on American Idol who can sing like James Brown, riff like Chris Rock, and does a mean Obama imitation to boot. Now multiply that by the factor at which Chinese people appreciate a foreigner who actually digs their culture. It worked for Dashan, whose star rose on the CCTV New Years Eve Special in 1989, when he did a three-man xiangsheng. The following translated xiangsheng probably won't make you laugh, but should give you a taste of what it's all about.
Only boxers and ballet dancers can really understand what they go through. In a large, empty, dawn-lit room of the Wuqiao Acrobatic School, a cluster of children, six to sixteen years old, push their bodies to do the impossible. Ligaments stretch as faces grimace. Plenty of sweat and not a few tears stain clothes and floor. They have counterparts all over China, but the difference is that in Wuqiao the acrobat is a cause for pride.
Mao as deeply flawed demagogue - that's easy enough to accept. From JFK's womanizing to Churchill's crippling depressions, we're used to accepting that all idols have feet of clay. But economic progress during the Great Leap Forward, or social enrichment during the Cultural Revolution? That's tampering with historical aphorisms, like suggesting World War II was anything other than good guys versus bad guys. If you're comfortable with such blasphemy, handled with clumsy humor, then The Passion of the Mao is one of the more entertaining, provocative China documentaries you'll find at your favorite pirate DVD shop.
Beijing's glitterati have been flaunting the city's nightlife options for years. "We have both kinds of music - house AND hip hop," they'll tell you. There are even some rock acts for venerables in their fourth decade and beyond.
But it's clubs for the beautiful people, guaranteed loud enough so it doesn't matter what you're pretending to laugh about with your friends while you scan the room. And there are bars for every mood and whim, too, no worries: snooty bars, druggy bars, lady bars, sports bars, arm bars for clientele who try the old ‘self-serve' trick.
As in other Chinese city-states (yeah you, Shanghai), all this supposes that drinking and music are the holy duo of night-time entertainment. Whatever happened to the live act? Not the live musical act, although it never hurts to be reminded that Filipinos are the musical master race. The variety act, for all those talents who belong on stage, even if they'll never nail the solo to Hotel California.
In a more civilized age, you had dinner then a show, preferably at the same place. The concept has come back to life at the Goose and Duck's Magic & Comedy Club. The G& D's been carving its niche by catering to those thin on pretension but thick of wallet since '96, approximately three and a half centuries in expat years. Its new club is the latest in a string of amusements, the restaurants, bands, cable sports, batting cage, et al, all proffered in the quest to claim the title of ‘Complete Entertainment Venue'.
Let's hear it for composer Guo Wenjing and director Li Liuyi, who are updating Peking Opera with modern staging and effects. Their production Heroine Trilogy, centered around the lives of three of China's historically gutsiest females, will top off the Beijing Music Festival, a round of classical treats including Tannhauser and aVerdi/Puccini Gala.
Besides classical music, ballet is a traditionally Western art form being reinvigorated by Chinese talent and perspectives. China's National Ballet is winding up its performance of Raise the Red Lantern at the National Center for the Performing Arts, after a triumphant European tour.
The many who pay scant attention to ballet will probably remain unmoved by the assertion that dance, like painting, remains as relevant as ever in its ability to communicate on a level far more primal than even the most lovingly-crafted CGI character. They might want to pay attention to the latter performance, however, not just for the powerful movie on which it is based, but also for the fact that both are directed by Zhang Yimou. The man is enjoying a Spielbergian climb in artistic cache, and both his ballet and movie are greater testament to his artistic range and vision than even, dare we say, the Olympic opening ceremony.
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